Not Anti-Social, But Anti So Social


Sorry for such a stupid title, but yes, it is true that there’s nobody anti-social in the world. Actually, they are anti-so-social. They are the sorts of people who’re very careful in the selection of their friends, and I’m one of them. One thing we need to understand is that nobody is born with a…

Aleem Qureshi Blog 1

Sorry for such a stupid title, but yes, it is true that there’s nobody anti-social in the world. Actually, they are anti-so-social. They are the sorts of people who’re very careful in the selection of their friends, and I’m one of them. One thing we need to understand is that nobody is born with a tag of anti-social. We (anti-social) had a time when we were so social, but then why have we become so anti-social? At this point, I am in a position to share my experience that might be similar to others, but definitely, everybody will have their own circumstances to be called anti-social (anti so social).

I distinguish myself from others who’re so social. I don’t like to join a throng of people. I took this position after I had the worst experience with some unnecessary and toxic people in my early life. However, I appreciate my decision, I made it wisely and timely. Otherwise, I couldn’t write these words here.

Don’t think I am against of people who love to be social.

My only concern is “Why keep unnecessary people in life, especially when you don’t know whether they are good or bad people.” Alright, only a person can write this, who has been victimized by the people who were not the same as they showed. Just ask yourself, do you hand over your car to everyone, or do you open your house door for everyone? Obviously not, because you would never want that someone damage your car or steal something from your house. Then why your life is open for everyone; Is this not precious for you? Oh, May you’re such a kind of person who believes in humanity. That’s good, even I believe in humanity. But I love my life and my family too.

Along with my all apologies, the people who say we’re social, but many of them are so mean and selfish, not all but a large majority. It is because, if you think about others instead of only your life, then you’ve to be careful with every action and decision of your life. Because any step towards the wrong people can harm you but also your loved ones.

Don’t be shy to call yourself anti-social (anti so social), because it’s a sign that proves you’re enough experienced to understand people. It’s easier for me to surround myself with many people, but people are being obnoxious in the present state of affairs. They always try to pull the wool over others’ eyes. I know it sounds too acerbic, but it never means to segregate yourself from the rest of the world. This world is still filled with nice people, and you’re free to allow them into your life.

There might be some questions regarding this topic, such as:

  • How to identify the right people?
  • How can I believe someone?
  • How can I live alone by letting people go away from my life?

Let me clear my stance first, I am not detaching you from the people, but helping you to know how you can tell right from wrong. As indicated earlier, we need to be careful in the selection of the right people; therefore, I’ve some principles that protect me from the wrong people.

1- First thing first, when someone comes into your life, never explore everything about you to him/her. Take some time to ensure whether you can trust him/her or not.

As stated by “Nicholas Sparks“:

“You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.”

2- Categorize people in your life and treat each category differently like:

  • The Closest people (Supposed to be your family members on whom you can trust)
  • Mates (Classmates, office colleagues, etc.)
  • Best Friend (A childhood friend or a friend who spends more time with you)

3- Except your closest people or loving family members, don’t keep too many expectations with others.

4- If you don’t feel good with any specific person, and you have concerns regarding his/her role in your life. Make a distance with that person.

5- Determine who’s doing what for you, since not every person who seems good for you will surely be good, and neither every person you think is bad will surely be bad for you. You should have the ability to understand people by their actions, character, gestures, and words.

Know your surroundings and who or what should or shouldn’t be there. Where we stand today and with whom, it will drive our future destiny. That’s why I advise you to select only the right people, who really care about you.

By Aleem Ahmed Qureshi  |   Submitted On November 24, 2017